So, I go to the gym. And as I'm in the parking lot getting ready to go in, I'm just thinking how I hate the gym. It is boring running in place. At my other gym you had a personal tv. Now I have to share with the masses. And who really is all that interested in the Jodi Arias trial? Anyone? No? Thought so. And I don't need the looks. Yes, I am only lifting a 20lb weight. It is heavy for me muscle head!
I kick my butt in gear to walk in, and who awaits me at the top of the stairs? Gym guys trying to sell me something. I think it was protein shakes. And how does this seller greet me? "You look tired." Yup, you aren't getting my business. A lady doesn't want to hear that. (Even if the lady in question does occasionally tell people to "suck it"--but I only thought it, not out loud).
And the next day I scheduled an eye appointment. The doctor asks me when I last changed my contacts. I tell him a month. But it is totally a lie. I have no idea. Then I get a lecture on changing them every 2 weeks or dire consequences will happen. And as long as that isn't blindness or my eye falling out, I think I'll survive. And, last year the doctor told me it wasn't imperative I change them every two weeks. I guess this one is in the pockets of the contact lens conglomerates.
He then asks me how I take care of the lenses. Uh, put them in the container and soak 'em. I don't rub them? No, doctor man. I bought no rub solution. It is really a one-step deal. But apparently there is a minimum standard of care and I'm not doing it. But despite my many years of contact wearing incompetence, one of my eyes actually improves. So there, Dr. Smartypants! He then rounds out the appointment by doing every eye test known to man, including putting a cylinder in my eye and spending an inordinate amount of time in my face staring through the tube into my eyes. Boundaries. I was never so happy to have an eye appointment over.
He did tell me he was once a school teacher. I'm slightly worried he had a mid-life crisis, decided to be an optometrist, just graduated, and I was his first patient. It would explain his thoroughness. I prefer jaded doctors who just ask me which is clearer, 1/2. Read the last line, and give me a prescription. Once, I even had one who was like, you're too young to have cataracts, we can skip the evil machine that blows into your eye. Score!
And now all I think is that t'were I Kate Middleton, I would not be dealing with gym heads and enthusiastic optometrists. My life is hard guys.
