Conundrum

I can feel myself getting fatter.

But, without working out or eating less, how can I lose weight?

I'll just sit here in bed watching TV and think about it.

I've Been Dumped. . . On.

Today exciting things happened. We went to UNO to watch Meredith dance. We got fed some fry bread, and it was awesome. But for me, the most exciting thing happened after. And by exciting, I mean absolutely disgusting.

Gabby needed a diaper change. I could just end the story there. I'm sure you all know where I am going with this. But I shall continue anyway. I carried her damsel-in-distress style. Why? Because when there is a mess in the pants, you don't squish it.

I go to the back to change her and I lay her down, and see a green goo on the floor. Weird? What is that? I better keep Gabby away from that! I look down. I am covered in said goo. It is NOT goo, it is poo. I have poo on my shirt and pants, and later I also find some on my new boots! She schmeared all over auntie! I guess it came out the top of the diaper. And I am not being dramatic when I say covered.

I get a girl in the back to go get Meredith for me and I try to clean myself. Then I yell for Sara. Because I, nor anyone else wants to travel home in an enclosed car with me smelling like a dog poo, I borrow Sara's shirt (she had a tank top and sweater on too) and I use Meredith's yoga pants. Meredith wears her hoop outfit home.

I know moms out there may have similar stories. But I am just an auntie, yet I have been peed on all over, and poo'd on. Big time. Why do I attract my niece's feces?

Official News

It is official. Prince William is engaged. This news has been waited for since the tragic death of Princess Diana. Mainly by me. And when he got engaged, I also assumed it would be to me. Ah well!

*I debated on whether or not to photoshop my head on hers. But, I remember I stopped wanting to actually marry Prince William when I realized he started looking too much like his dad. Best not to dip into those genes.

Also, in other official news, I fit into a children's size 5 shoe. I always said my foot was small, and were it not for its width, I could fit into a child's shoe. I don't know if that is awesome, or sad. I choose awesome!

Both stories are of equal importance in my mind.

Random Tip

If you are in need of a quick pick me up, listen to "Just the Way You Are" by Bruno Mars and pretend like he's singing it directly to you.

Domestically Challenged

My younger sister was trying to find another class to replace her econ class (I warned her). I was looking up some of the classes I took to give her some ideas. And, a class I try to forget about reared its head. MFHD. For those not in the BYU lingo, it is Marriage Family Human Development. Specifically, Marriage Prep. So embarrassing. Even at BYU we realize it is embarrassing. But, I needed credits and my sister was already in it and offered to share the books. Which was really nice, since I was glad I never had to stand in line to buy "Finding the Love of Your Life" and "Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts."

I ended up getting a "B" in that class. Which, at the time, I joked about saying, "I guess I can't get married yet!" Tonight I also realized that if I were also graded on domestic skills, I will have another few years left of

singledom before I am ready for marriage.

I was asked to make cookies for an event tonight. I originally wanted to buy the pre-made dough, but decided to do it from scratch since we had all the ingredients. I used to think I was pretty good at cookies, but I guess this recipe called for too much butter, because the cookies were definitely not my best. In Provo, girls often make cookies and bring them to guys. It is my guess they do that to win over the menfolk by showing them what a good domestic they are, and what they could expect should they marry them. These cookies, should I ever feel the need to drop them off to a boy, would most likely say, I hope you choke on me.

Me and my friend went together to the humanitarian thing, where I secretly dropped off the cookies. And to sum up the night, the overall feeling was inadequate. A bunch of older ladies sewing up a storm or whatever else they were doing. I felt in the way. All I really wanted to do was eat that cheeseball made with a bacon crust. And yes, sometimes I thought the cheese got in the way of the bacon.

On the way home, me and my friend did what we are REALLY good at, and no one can take that away from us. We sang along to the radio with the likes of Jewel and Katy Perry. SUPERSTAR!

Drive Like a Cholo

Ruben has decided it is best to join in on the fun. Today when I picked him up I had my ipod on random. About the time we were hitting our neighborhood the song from La Negra, a Mexican dance song from Living Legends popped up. This time Ruben wanted to roll the windows down and turn the music up. He wanted to stroll down the neighborhood like the true Mexican that is in his abnormally tall body.

His enjoyment was short lived as I informed him that it was 40 degrees out, and Mexicans don't like the cold. They were inside. Another day little brother, another day!

Why I am Awesome

Reason the first, I voted today. (Or rather, I voted yesterday. I'm a little slow writing this). People say your vote matters, but really, my state is not a battleground state. But, they say if you don't vote, you can't complain, and I love to complain.

Reason the second. I am getting to be a master at making Ruben all embarrassado. (Yes, I know it means pregnant in Spanish, but that wont stop me from saying it).

I picked my boy up from school again. It was such a nice day that I thought we should roll the windows down. And I had such a great song playing, I thought we should turn the music up. What song was it you ask? Ghetto Girl, by Mann. People were staring, but I figured its just because I'm so pretty.