Halloween at the Law School!

This was my last year for the law school halloween party! Lets just say you know you HAD to be at BYU because the parade of children's costumes took at least a 1/2 hour!

Yesterday our Blackacre Blitz coach/captain sent out an email suggesting we all wear our Blitz outfits, with heels. I was going to do that anyway (the heels, not blackacre). Some of these people don't often wear heels. My closet is almost exclusively heels, how can people not wear them all the time? I don't feel attractive without them.

And yes, I went to my domestic violence class (with guest speaker) still wearing the outfit because 1) I didn't bring other clothes 2) I didn't feel like going home and changing 3) if I took off the headband there'd be a line on my forehead 4) if I washed off the black marks I'd have to wash the entire face and reapply makeup...basically I was too lazy.

And YES, I am wearing legwarmers, and YES, we were the loudest ones to cheer for ourselves! We are our own biggest fans. We think we're awesome!

I'm Ready!

So, some of you know that I have a slight obsession with The Office. While thinking of the upcoming tournament I know we have the uniform. We have the face paint. We have the ability, all we need is some good smack talk. But don't worry, I remembered these gems of wisdom from Kelly, modified.

Your team is so weak, you need steroids just to watch football.

Were your parents first cousins that were also bad at football?

Hey! Hey! You! You! I don't like your girlfriend! 'Cause! 'Cause! 'Cause! 'Cause! 'Cause she sucks at football!

And just for fun:
I don't talk trash, I talk smack. They're totally different. Trash talk is all hypothetical like, your momma's so fat she could eat the internet. But smack talk is happening like right now. Like, you're ugly and I know it for a fact 'cause I got the evidence right there.

I think Shakespeare said it best

When he wrote

"Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness and
some have greatness thrust upon them". - (Twelfth Night, Act II, Scene V).

Lets just say, for our flag football team, Blackacre Blitz, greatness was obviously THRUST upon us. . . we have the bruises to prove it!

On this historical night, Tuesday, the twentieth of October, in the year of our LORD two-thousand eight, we ended the season UNDEFEATED! Bring on the tournament!

I’d just like to thank our captain, Nikki, for leading us into the black (Blood alone moves the wheels of history! We are warriors!). Maggie for her swivel hips that can get past 20 girls. All the rest of the girls (sorry to not name you personally—there are too many) but you are all AWESOME. I’d also like to specially thank our unofficial coaches (one in particular might have to remain nameless) as well as Dennis Pitta and Fui Vakapuna for wearing those wigs and filling in one night—you make ugly women, but you can sure get the ball down the field!

BLACKACRE BLITZ: WE OWN YOU…IN FEE SIMPLE (ABSOLUTE!)

Weak Arms

Ever since Michael dumped Jan for Carol, Jan's been bitching out on him.
Reject a woman and she will never let it go. One of the many defects of their
kind. Also, weak arms.
Dwight Schrute

My brother told me that my posts have started to sound bitter. I'm not, but I guess I can see his point. But, it also gave me a moment to remember this gem of a quote from The Office.

Also, I have a few friends still interviewing. In fact, one is in an interview this very moment. Whenever I'm in an interview and they ask me this:

"So, what are your greatest strengths and weaknesses?"

I always am tempted to say:

"My arms"

All Dressed Up

This weekend I got to dress up twice. On Friday, I forgot how much I despise UMBA, but still went to their event for free food. It was fun talking with friends, but these lawyers haven't found a microphone they didn't like.

Saturday I slept in, returned a yoga mat that wasn't really a yoga mat even though the wrapping said it was. Then I bought a fake gun because...

It was Sophie's first birthday party, and YES, it was a costume party. She's a little witch who loves her cake!

So, my friend Liz wasn't sure of what to be since Fili, (aka the daddy and law school friend) threatened to make us wear ugly costumes if we didn't bring our own. At first she was like, "I'll just be a serial killer, and I'll just Wear black nail polish and a hoodie." To which I had to reply, "To a CHILD'S first birthday party!?" She then decided to be Elphaba from Wicked.

And, then I decided to be something more child appropriate--a mofia princess/mobster/person with a gun. It was based off the shoes I bought. I had to wear them with something. AND I like guns. I hope to shoot one someday. Not at a person (just to be clear). So, perfect fit. And that is what I did this weekend.

Addendum

Hey, thanks NM firm for calling and trying to be friends, but here's one fact, when you reject a girl, she does NOT want to continue being friends. So, please quit calling, I'm glad you think I'll go somewhere "special," you can rest easy because this call definitely makes you the good guy, but don't really want to hear it.

Does that sound bitter? I'm really not. I just don't like being rejected in person.

situation 1: I got tickets to a football game just before it started. I had extras and called friends and anyone in my phone (practically). Most didn't pick up, some had plans already, etc. But eventually I found people to come. However, during all this a boy calls me. First of all, I didn't have his number, so when I picked up the phone and ask, "Who am I speaking to?" please don't tell me to guess. Then, please don't inform me that you know I wanted to call you, but you are sorry to say you are too busy to go. That is going out of your way to reject me.

situation 2: (same guy) We are talking at school. He tells me, "I want to be a trophy husband. That's why you and I would never work out. We're both too lazy, we'd never get anything done." Because, I talked to you, ergo I clearly want to marry you, but you want to warn me in advance not to give my heart to you. Once again, thank you for rejecting me. I'm not even interested, but thank you for nipping that in the bud. Also, thanks for calling me lazy. Even if I am (which, lets face it, I kind of am) you don't tell me that to my face.

Why do people find it necessary to reject me to my face? All I need is a notarized note.

You're not a complete loser!

I asked, "Am I going to Lose Her?"

--Rachel and Chandler, FRIENDS

Its like a flash back in war. 2L year you interview for jobs on campus, you wait and wait and hope and beg for a job...and no one gives you one. You finally go elsewhere and can finally find someone stupid enough to hire you. Once again I went through the interviewing process. Then I even took the next step. I got a call back! And even though I really didn't want to move to New Mexico, I was excited for the free trip.

And seeing the title, I don't think any of you readers thinks this ends well...I'll just make it clear. I did not get the job. And like I said, I didn't really want it, but I would have at least wanted to have the ability to reject them. At least now I don't have to feel bad about telling them no.

And then right after hearing from the New Mexico firm, I got an email from the Vegas firm saying, "there were many qualified applicants, but you weren't one of them." I wasn't really depressed, but who likes being rejected? But, it was a good excuse to finally eat my chocolate symphony bar. Pretending to be depressed isn't really that fun when you are on a diet though. I felt the worst for eating my chocolate bar over being rejected.

PS. both the interviewers were classmates of my dad. This is the 3rd time that someone interviewed me who asked if I was Ed's daughter. And NONE of them have hired me. Daddy, I love you, but your friends are LAME!

The Birth of a Star...

Is what my bruise looks like. The blues and purples and fuschias are deeper, and the middle is all yellow and makes me look like I have jaundice. We played another game, and it was a little disappointing to say that all I got was a tiny bruise on the other leg. We won, of course, even though we had half our team because--

Last week was placement break, aka, free break to interview and catch up, but in reality sleep in and do nothing. It was nice because my family came into town with my niece and instead of being interrupted by class I could play.

However, Saturday was Homecoming, and I had to be in the parade. It was cold, and I had to layer on the layers. I was a little embarrassed to be out in public looking the way I did, but too late now! Afterwards, my niece Bella kept telling me I "look like a boy!" Which just brings back bad memories of my childhood.

Battle Wounds: Love/Hate

So, I am linebacker in Flag Football. We have basically shut out the three teams we have gone up against, which is awesome, but now the refs are asking why we are in the lower division. How were we supposed to know we'd dominate?

In any case, this Thursday we played a team of bottle blonde short shorts girls. The only time they made it past the "50 yard line" was at the very end when we took out our best players and let girls play any position they wanted without ever having played it before. They started playing rough when they got mad that they sucked. Like, elbowing anyone in their area. Falling on people. Speaking of, I grabbed flags off a girl, who fell, and their team members wanted a foul asking, "can we tackle now?" Um, I think she nearly fell on me! Plus, I wanted to ask, "are we allowed to get drunk at BYU now?" This girl was ALWAYS falling! Even when no one was around, and she fell like Harvey Unga, she just took out people (if they were nearby) as she fell, and she fell hard being a little chunkier. One of these times was right into my leg. Now there is a huge bruise on the entire right side of my left leg. Its like, softball size ball, with an ice-cream cone shape. (Not sure if I should post pictures of this lovely bruise--I guess I am!).

I love battle wounds. But, the next day I had to dress up and attend an Alumni conference for BYU Law as part of my SBA and work duties. And since my dress pants are long, and thus require heels, lets just say I was limping a bit. It hurt to use my calf muscle at all. But on the bright side, the swelling of the bruise makes it look like my calf muscle is bigger, making at least one leg shapely (if you look beyond the green/yellow/purple coloring).

So, it hurts to walk, but cool to show off. And now, I have a call back interview on Tuesday, and I'm not sure if they'll appreciate fully my battle wound. I wonder how much black nylons can hide.

Kari, a new alumnus, with me at the Conference. It was gorgeous up in the mountains!