So, this year alone I have had numerous family and friends get married, caught 5 bouquets, maimed 15 hopeful girls, fell prey to 3 stalkers, set my facebook to private, and have since retired from any sort of catching of flowers. I will now buy them myself should I get the inclination. I think the Universe has punished me by sending me creepy/weirdo/uggo boys
The most violent was my sister's wedding toss. Onlookers were amused, the timid were frightened, one ran in confusion...
This was the first incident. I jumped and fell, lost a shoe. I might have accidentally flashed someone. . .
Stalker #1: Lets call him Divorced Facebooker.
I knew him years ago at a job I had. When we were bored we'd talk. He found me on Facebook, told me he was divorced, and kept trying to talk to me. Then this summer he asked me out...via Facebook message. Super sweet story for the grandkids, eh? I pretended not to see. Then, later on he asked me out again. I told him, "I'm in Colorado working right now." (He was only in Utah for the summer). He then asked me when I got back... I said, a long time from now. He then asked if I was giving him a raincheck. After which I immediately signed out of Facebook. At the mere mention of a friend's upcoming wedding, and the proposed question, "who's going to catch the bouquet if you aren't there?" came yet another facebook message: When are you coming back?
Stalker #2: Lets call him Divorced Old Facebooker
One day, after feeling safe enough to get back onto Facebook after said first facebook stalker, I came upon a message from a man I did not know. He mentioned that he was mormon too, just divorced, and also an alumni from my high school. . . in 1985! I don't remember what else he said, but I do know it prompted me to make my Facebook profile private!
Stalker #3: Flock of Seagulls guy, aka The Flock
My second sunday at church I was asked to go to the Bishop's office so that he could meet me and say hello. I decided to wait outside his office, and having nothing else to do thought it'd be a good chance to read my scriptures. But it was not to be. A certain boy/manchild walked up to me and started talking. Not even sure if he introduced himself. I answered politely, it was church after all, and tried to start reading again when he kept talking. He then asked me if was dating anyone at BYU, and I immediately thought: Do 1) I say yes and keep him away yet alienate any other boy in the ward, and 2) does it matter? I've seen the boys at church... But I panicked and said I wasn't dating. Then he asked if I had a number. What do you say? No, I live an amish lifestyle and am one of the 5 people in American without a cell phone? So, I felt cornered into giving him my number. From then on I planned ways to avoid him. He texted me at 7am, and as a courtesy I sent him a very short reply...12 hours later. Which might have been a mistake since now he knew it was really my number. He called many random times, and even texted again...I ignored them.
Was he a bad guy? Probably not. But there are reasons to not date him.
1) I couldn't stand to listen to his voice. It was high pitched, and he paused in odd places. Ever watch Anchorman? Remember when someone placed a question mark after "I'm Ron Burgundy?" That is how he sounded.
2) He didn't seem that intelligent. When he asked I told him I worked as a law clerk. I could hear him sound it out in his mind, L-l-law cl-cl-cler-clerk! Not sure he knew what that was. He then asked me if I wanted to meet him at 2:30 one day. Confused, because I JUST told him, I said, "No, I work..." He then told me he also went to school in Utah...at the school of massage therapy. (Call me a law snob, but isn't that where 18 year old girls go to school?)
and
3) He was not attractive to me--at all. He was balding and thinning, and to cover it up he spiked his bleached tipped hair, which gave the appearance of horns. It reminded me of the Flock of Seagulls (hence his name), but instead of combing down the middle, it was all coif'd up. Like this (Only with thinner hair):
He was also wearing what I hoped was a cream colored shirt, and the usual slacks, black shoes (but no socks, gross!) And to top his 80s Flock look, he wore a blue denim pinstripe jacket. Be still my heart.
After about 5 tries, he stopped calling. Although when I look around the chapel and see him, he is always staring at me. Creepy.
The irony of our first meeting: I was wearing the dress I wore for my sister's wedding/catching of the bouquet. Touche universe. Touche'.
Kept cool with this state of the art air conditioning machine!
created my own filing system
These are the cases I used, not all the ones I printed out. My last project on the Cobell case is on the left. Other work about to be recycled on the right.
Kept cool with this state of the art air conditioning machine!
created my own filing system
These are the cases I used, not all the ones I printed out. My last project on the Cobell case is on the left. Other work about to be recycled on the right.
