Monday, September 29, 2008

The Last Of...

“When Indians go, they don’t come back! Last of the Mohicans, Last of the Winnebagos…
--Shut Up, Thomas!”

I’m the last of the single Zendejas’ in Provo, and it is awesome. When we go out to eat as a family I am paired up with baby Charley. When they ask how the check is split, its easy for me, I just tell her I’m alone. And best of all, not only do my parents worry about my single status, but so does the rest of the married siblings, their spouses, and even my youngest sister Lexi is putting the pressure on. (On account of the fact she wants to drive and wont get to until I’m off the car insurance—pretty sure that is just a ruse on my parent’s part. Like when we wanted toys as kids and they would tell us we could have it when it was, “on sale and we had lots of money.”)

I get lots of attention now, being the family project. People want to monitor me as I’m out, film it, and review it later to achieve better results. They want to set me up on blind dates, make me look sluttier, put ads up on “social networking sites,” and all manner of desperate acts that don’t make me look too desperate, “in hopes that someone will love me…”
All true stories by the way.

Ah, this is my beloved new sister Karly: “Jordan, I love you, but there is something wrong with you!” Quite possibly true. If only I liked cats.

10 comments:

AlliSMiles said...

you didn't tell me you had a blog. punk. if you want an invite to mine, either send me an email or leave a comment with your email on my photo blog: allismiles.blogspot.com

alli

Natalia said...

you could always just keep getting more degrees (that way you have an excuse to stay in utah)

Lauren Jayne said...

No offense, but can we talk about some of your siblings' age when they finally got around to marriage. I think you're still okay!

sararz said...

haha its okay jordan i'll come back to utah and we'll be single together!

Meredith said...

HEY!...I was only 22 when I got married.

Ben said...

Wow Jor, that was pretty funny.... but it leaves the impression that all this attention is unwanted, and we both know that you kinda enjoy it! (all except the sluttier dressing suggestions from Carlos)

bmz said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bmz said...

seriously...you think 27 is old to get married? get out of provo, there's a whole world out there!

Carlos said...

I still stand by my previous statement. Jordan, you just need to get out there and be a little sluttier...not so slutty that people think you are a call girl or something, but slutty enough that summer sales guys will want to date you. That's a fine line to toe, but follow your heart and you won't go wrong.

sararz said...

how did i know that the sluttier comment came from carlos...