The Job

I started my job this week.  Its really the training part, but I get paid, so it counts.  Its a little different than I expected.  For example, I thought it would be 50 percent boot camp, and 50 percent classes, and I was really wondering what they would think up for 5 hours a day. But we only get physical 2 times a week for an hour or two, not counting Defensive Techniques where you are constantly grabbing/being grabbed.  

My days are technically 13 hours, because driving up there takes time (to South Jordan) then 10 hour days, plus an hour lunch).   I spend the bulk of it in class--and its not bar prep!  Well, some of it is review, so that works out...

But today we went to Defensive Techniques class, which is pretty much the coolest class ever. Basically we learn ways to hurt people and disarm them and practice on each other.  We are learning the difference between "pain" and "discomfort."  

Today, I get to class and we have to wear wrestling shoes on the mats, and I put them on for the first time. This was a mistake because apparently the store literally gave me two left feet.  I put one shoe on, then went for the other, when I realized it was a left foot.  I thought, "hey, what am I? Five? I can't put my shoe on the right foot."  Then I inspect, ah, 2 lefties.  Awesome.  So, I wear two left shoes because what else am I supposed to do? I have to wear the shoes.  Fortunately for me, the pain from twisting my arm around distracts me from the pain in my foot!  It was a pretty awesome class, despite the pain, or rather, "discomfort."  

This discomfort was at first bearable, but after nearly constant practice for an hour and a half, it started to wear you down. So, when we got to a certain move which causes the most pain, and after the officer and the girl both did it to my one arm about 10 times, I was on the ground literally kicking and screaming in pain.  And laughing.  Apparently I need to stop laughing because some officers will think I'm not taking it seriously and yell at me.  I shall try, but its either going to be laughing or crying...you pick. 

However, I still have a dull discomfort in my arms.  And now I keep wanting to show off my cool new moves on people. I really should stop volunteering people.  Especially the one where I make them lay flat on the ground and grind their shoulder.  (I am really good at that one! Sergeant was impressed!) I should really warn people after they give me the pepper spray.